Singapore Election 2011 Jokes - Part Two

The responses to my earlier blog on Singapore Election 2011 jokes were encouraging.  Here are more of my election jokes to whet my visitors’ appetite. Enjoy reading!


Class Size

Opposition Leader: Vote for me! We will reduce class size to twenty instead of forty in school classroom.  You as parents will save on tuition fees.
Tuition Agency Boss: Oh no! I will be out of business if I vote for him.


Many Different Voting Perspectives

Question: Who will you vote for in this election at your constituency? PAP or The Opposition?

Avid Supporter: What color shirt I am wearing will tell you which party I’ll vote.
Gambler:  It depends on which party I bet on to win.
Old Uncle: I’ll vote for the party with the most beautiful female candidates.
Gen Y: Let me check my Facebook friends’ comments to decide.
Old Grandmother: I’ll vote for both. I may not live to see their election promises.

(Note : A gogo means ‘In abundance’ in French – phrase made popular by music and dancing)


Blind Voter at Polling Station

Blind Voter: Is my voting secret?
Presiding Officer: Yes, it is!
Blind Voter: Then can we cross our pinkies to keep it a secret as you help me mark my choice?
 
(Suggestion: Singapore Election Department should design voting slip for the blind or visually handicapped using Braille to allow them to vote by themselves.)


Pap Smear

Lecturer: What is Pap Smear?
Student: It’s a tactic used by PAP during election to smear the cancerous opposition from being voted into parliament. 


Mistaken Identity

Shopper A: I see a group of red-shirt personnel distributing fliers over there.  Maybe, we can get some good discounts for latest mobile phones. Let’s go get one.
Shopper B: Oh, Oh! We got the wrong number.  They are the opposition party members for the general election.
 
(Note: One distinctive corporate color of a telecommunications company in Singapore is red.)


Housing and Development Board (HDB) Prices

Opposition: One of our manifestos is to bring down the prices of HDB.
PAP: HDB prices at PAP ward is 3% to 16% higher than the opposition for similar flats.
Opposition: PAP is confirming our manifesto on lower HDB prices.  If all wards belong to the opposition, then Singaporeans shall enjoy lower affordable HDB prices.


Vandalism on Election Properties

Voter A: Look at those unsightly vandalized PAP posters and banners. What happen to our education system?
Voter B: Our education system is definitely below Swiss standards…when our MRT train was vandalized by one of the Swiss nationals, it looked so artistic that MRT staff thought was a new advertisement being painted.